Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Embarassment of Meridith Johnson Part 1 of 4

It was another hot day, in the summer of July, in Anaheim, California. The year was 2003 and I was still failing at landing any job having to do with acting. I guess you could count my job as a server at the local Fridays as an acting job, forced to smile at every stoic and prudent guest, pressured to dive into the pitfalls of petty small talk amongst people I don't know and may not ever see again, and pretending to enjoy working for the manager which I work for. Yes, Fridays may be the hardest acting job ever. Too bad the pay is weak otherwise it might not be so bad. This story has nothing to do with Fridays though. This story is about my success in getting a great job with a great company, and then complaining about it, because this is how humans behave. Bitching about everything we have, and pining for things which we don't.
This day was unlike any other day today though. My phone rang, and it wasn't my mother. I barely recognized the name on my caller ID because it had been so long since the last time she called me, but it was my agent. I flipped open the phone, watched the bats fly up into the sky, and answered the call with a confused 'hello' which one might hear in a horror movie.
"Meridith! Meridith! Guess who has some terrific news for ya girl!" she cheered to me. This meant that she had a job for me. My tail began to wag and I started to pant when I heard these words. I stayed skeptical for a moment, wondering if it would be porn or even a job at all. She may have just had terrific news about my life. I replied with a slightly eager "Hey Cyndi, what's up?" She had one of those krazy names, I know crazy is spelled with a 'c,' but I use the 'k' to describe ridiculous situations and names spelled annoyingly incorrect.
"Meridith! Girl!" she always called me girl, like we were close girlfriends. "I have a job for you!"
My eyes opened, mouth watered, and I began to get nervous. What would it be this time? A movie with Brad Pitt? A television appearance on a major network? Being cast in a play?
"Disney called me," she began. Disney! Holy shit! Disney is a big company, I wonder what they want from me. "Disney is building a new ride, similar to the one like Star Tours, and you know how there are real people on the screen when you are on the ride? Well the job is going to be the people on the screen. The ride has to do with going into a fairytale setting, where there is a princess and a knight, but the twist is that the princess has to rescue the knight when she comes across a modern flying aircraft." I stood a little dumbfounded. So it was a gender reversed ride at a theme park. Do I hang up?
"Meridith? Are you there?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm here. Sorry, yeah sounds cool," I responded after waking up from my coma. "Well what do you think hon'? You want to take it?" she asked, adding to the pressure of my decision making, cutting my time. I answered "Yes! Why not? It could be fun right?"
"That's my girl!" What's with the girl thing? "They are offering you ten-grand plus free room and board wherever they make you travel. And guess what! They are going to pick you up in a limo!" What am I six? A limo? That's not exciting. Now the ten thousand dollars sounds amazing! As well as the free hotel service! Maybe this job would be pretty decent. "Okay Cyndi, I'll take it," I decided with ease after I heard all the great benefits. "Oh awesome! Alright gorgeous, I'll have Walt send his finest limo next Friday morning at 7 A.M.." She must have been making a joke referring to how she is close with the deceased Walt Disney, or the man's name who is in charge is curiously named Walt.
After hanging up the phone, I went to go to the bathroom, and sat staring into the mirror for a few minutes, making some sexy faces, followed by funny faces, followed by happy faces, and then stopped because I realized what a basket case I was becoming these days. I was a 23 year old girl, no, woman, on her own, taking care of business, and for the rest of the day, I felt more accomplished than I ever have.

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