So, we have this contest at Trader Joe's every year for someone to be on the Trader Joe's float during the Rose Bowl parade and since I have taken a much bigger interest in the company, I thought maybe it would be fun if I tried to win this. We had to answer a couple of questions about random things (movie/music trivia mostly) and then we had to write an essay about why we should be selected to be on the float for this "once-in-a-lifetime opportunity." Well, this is what I wrote to turn in for the actual contest:
Why should I be chosen to be on the Trader Joe's Rose Bowl float this year? I am a walking vessel of entertainment and captivating energy. Ask most of our customers at our store in Valencia and they would probably tell you how friendly I am, and how easy it is to talk to me. People target my register when they are searching for their final destination in the store for two reasons: I have a fox-like quickness with a puppy dog sweetness and a genuine interest in everyone I help. Being on a float would only bring forth all of this energy but with a magnitude on much higher scale. I am very proactive in everything I do, and am always motivated to be the best I can be. I am determined to get everything I want, and I do not give up easily. My goal for the next year is to try out for the cheer-leading squad at Cal State Northridge. I have a knack for getting people motivated with my eloquent speech and physical abilities. I possess skills for cheer-leading such as tumbling and being a source of entertainment for a float or for a crowd of people watching stunts is what I am designed for. I do not get shy in front of a group. In fact, I love being the center of attention. I crave the spotlight, which is why I want to be on the float this year. Not only would I be promoting a company that I firmly believe is doing the people of this country a service by providing low-cost high-quality specialty grocery items, but I would be promoting the company that has shown me a great deal of respect and the amount of care I receive from my management team is something I appreciate more than anything. I love working for Trader Joe's and in a way, I would like to use this as a way to pay them back for everything they have done for me.
This is the essay I had to turn in. However, I thought it might be fun to write one about my absolute feelings on why I should be selected for everyone to read and have a good chuckle:
Why should I be chosen for the Trader Joe's float for the Rose Bowl Parade this year? Well, I guess if I had to put it simply, the list of reasons why I should not be picked would be a lot quicker to write. I am a walking vessel of kindness and I am friendly... not that these actually matter for a contest. Why should I really be picked? I'm talented. And I mean talented. Who wants to watch a bunch of old people who can barely move without hurting their back? I can tumble into backflips, frontflips, any flips really. Not only am I great with my body, but my physique itself is killer. With perfect calves, a well-toned stomach and proportions which make sense, I motivate people to want to be better. I secrete sex from every oraface in my body and if that doesn't get people determined, the constant sweet boy-next-door flirty smile on my face will. My blue eyes and blond hair make for a very aesthetically pleasing view and give me a natural innocense that is very hard to see within to any darkness I may be hiding. If you want people to be thrilled and cheer for this company, might I say that I would make great face for you, Trader Joe's. Make me your poster child this year at the Rose Parade and I will not let you down. If none of this is impressive to you, then I guess you could just ask me what wouldn't I do to be on this float and I can guarantee you it is a lot shorter a list than what you might think. ;-)
This is half kidding, the only part which I am serious is the talent aspect. I am pretty badass at tumbling and I am only getting better. I hope to be good enough for cheer by May but for the most part the first essay is my true feelings. Hope you all got a laugh though. Thanks for tunin' in!